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Family Ghosts in the Executive Suite: Childhood Roles at Work

How childhood family dynamics, from values to roles, secrets and boundaries, shape leadership styles, per Ancona and Perkins, and how to harness them.

Let’s explore the insightful article by Deborah Ancona and Dennis N.T. Perkins, which offers a unique perspective on how childhood family dynamics influence leadership styles and professional growth.

Understanding the Influence of Family Dynamics πŸ‘¨πŸ‘©πŸ‘§πŸ‘¦

The premise is intriguing: the roles and dynamics you experienced in your family as a child can significantly shape your professional behavior. These 'family ghosts' might lead you to repeat certain patterns in your workplace, impacting how you interact with authority, handle conflicts, and approach teamwork.

Unpacking the Family System in the Workplace πŸ”„

Ancona and Perkins outline six key elements of family dynamics that often manifest in professional settings:

  1. Values and Beliefs: The core principles instilled by your family can influence your leadership style.
  2. Roles: The role you played in your family (e.g., peacemaker, troublemaker) often gets mirrored in work scenarios.
  3. Secrets: Family secrets can shape how you communicate and handle sensitive information at work.
  4. Boundaries: The structure and rules in your family can affect how you perceive and enforce boundaries in professional environments.
  5. Triangles: The dynamics of family triangles (interactions involving three family members) can influence workplace relationships.
  6. Expectations and Mastery: The expectations set by your family and how you responded to them can impact your work-related ambitions and achievements.

The Story of Sarah: A Case Study πŸ“–

The article presents the case of 'Sarah,' whose struggles in launching a startup reflect deep-rooted family dynamics. Recognizing how her childhood experiences were holding her back, Sarah identified her family roles and secrets that influenced her professional paralysis.

Steps to Leverage Your 'Family Ghosts' πŸ‘»

  1. Identify Your Ghosts: Reflect on your family dynamics and how they might be influencing your current professional behavior.
  2. Set a Change Goal: Choose a specific aspect of your family-influenced behavior to change.
  3. Frame the Goal Effectively: Reframe your goal in a way that avoids triggering negative family dynamics.
  4. Develop New Versions of Yourself: Create 'provisional selves' based on role models who exemplify the behaviors you aspire to.
  5. Reflect and Adjust: Regularly assess how new behaviors are working and make necessary adjustments.

Transforming Leadership Through Self-Reflection 🌱

By understanding and addressing these deep-rooted dynamics, you can transform your approach to leadership and collaboration. This process involves both embracing the positive aspects of your family's influence and consciously moving away from patterns that hinder your growth.


In essence, the article suggests that to grow as a leader and professional, it's crucial to reflect on your family history and its impact on your work life. By acknowledging and adapting these ingrained behaviors, you can develop a more effective and authentic leadership style. πŸš€

Originally published on LinkedIn .

Amr Elharony
Delivery Lead, Mentor, FinTech Author & Speaker β€” bridging banking and technology to deliver measurable digital transformation across MENA.

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