The 3 Fs of Influence: How to Make Anyone Instantly Like You

We’ve all worked with that one person. You know the one. Maybe he's in Sales, maybe she's in HR. They walk into a conference room, and the energy shifts. People lean in. When they speak, nobody checks their phone. They aren’t necessarily the smartest person in the room, nor do they have the most seniority. But they have it.

Charisma.

For a long time, I thought charisma was something you were born with—like blue eyes or being tall. I figured I was destined to be the reliable team player who gets the work done but gets talked over in the strategy meeting. But after years of observing leadership dynamics and navigating corporate structures, I’ve realized that charisma isn't magic. It's a mechanic. It’s a set of soft skills and social cues that can be learned, practiced, and mastered.

If you want to build better rapport with stakeholders, lead your team more effectively, or just make your workday more enjoyable, you need to master the 3 Fs: Be Fascinating, Be Funny, and Make them Feel Good.

Let’s break down how to apply these concepts to our 9-to-5 lives without feeling inauthentic.

1. Be Fascinating: The Art of Corporate Storytelling 📖

We live in a data-driven world. We love our spreadsheets, our KPIs, and our quarterly projections. But here is the hard truth: Data doesn't hook people. Stories do.

If you want to be fascinating, you have to stop just reporting facts and start telling stories. Whether you are explaining a gap in the budget or recounting your weekend at the water cooler, the structure matters.

Set the Stakes High

A good story needs a hook. In the corporate world, we often bury the lead. We start with the context, the background, the methodology, and five minutes later, we get to the point. By then, everyone has zoned out.

To hook your audience, you need to set the stakes immediately. Introduce tension.

The Boring Version: "So, we had an issue with the server migration on Saturday because of a mismatch in the code, but we fixed it."

The Fascinating Version: "I was staring at my monitor at 2:00 AM on Saturday, realizing that if I pressed 'Enter,' I might accidentally wipe the entire client database. The stakes were huge. My finger was hovering over the key..."

See the difference? Even if the outcome is mundane, framing the potential consequences creates narrative tension. It grabs attention because human beings are wired to pay attention to danger and high-stakes situations.

Make it Immersive

When you are recounting an event, bring your listener into the moment with you. Use the present tense. instead of saying, "I walked into the boss's office," say, "So, I’m walking into the boss's office..."

Furthermore, don't be afraid to act it out a little. This is where the Charades Method comes into play.

I remember once trying to explain a chaotic supply chain issue to my Director. Instead of just listing the problems, I used my hands to mimic the chaos—showing the "explosion" of orders and the "wall" of logistics issues. I synced my hand gestures with my words. If I said the problem was "massive," my hands went wide. If I said the timeline was "tight," my hands came together.

It feels weird at first, but using dynamic hand gestures that match your vocabulary prevents people from zoning out. It forces them to visually track you, which keeps their brain engaged with your words.

The Power of Relatability

Sometimes, our work is niche. You might be excited about a new SQL query, but your colleague in Marketing doesn't care. To be fascinating to everyone, you must find the universal emotion within the specific technicality.

If you’re telling a story about a complex coding error, don't focus on the code. Focus on the feeling of imposter syndrome, or that critical inner voice telling you that you messed up.

The "Universal Truth" approach: "You know that voice in your head that tells you you’re going to get fired over a typo? I was having a full conversation with that voice yesterday..."

Suddenly, the specific technical problem doesn't matter. Everyone relates to the anxiety of making a mistake. By tapping into shared human experiences—stress, relief, joy, confusion—you make even the driest corporate anecdote relatable.

2. Be Funny: Humor as a Social Lubricant 😂

Humor in the workplace is tricky. We are all terrified of a visit from HR or offending a client. However, humor is essential for emotional intelligence and bonding. It signals safety and intelligence. You don't need to be a stand-up comedian; you just need to understand the mechanics of a laugh.

The Fake Out Method

This is one of the easiest ways to inject humor into a meeting without needing to memorize jokes. The formula is simple: Set up a positive expectation using your tone, then deliver a negative or unexpected result.

I used this recently during a project post-mortem. The project had been a nightmare—long hours, difficult vendors, missed deadlines.

I stood up and said with a bright, enthusiastic smile, "I just want to say, looking back on the last three months, the sleepless nights, and the sheer panic we all felt..." (I paused, looking beatific) "...was absolutely terrible and I never want to do it again."

The room erupted. Why? because my tone said, "Inspirational speech," but my words said, "This sucked." The contrast creates the comedy. It allows you to be honest about negative situations in a way that relieves tension rather than creating it.

Contagious Positivity

Have you ever noticed that when someone laughs genuinely, you want to laugh too? Laughter is a social signal.

If you find something funny, commit to the laugh. Don't stifle it. There is a misconception in corporate culture that being stone-faced means being professional. In reality, being able to laugh—even at your own minor misfortunes—shows confidence.

Personal Anecdote: I once tripped walking up to the podium for a presentation. I didn't get hurt, but it was clumsy. Instead of turning red and rushing into my slides, I just started laughing. I laughed at the absurdity of it. Because I was laughing, the audience felt permission to laugh with me, not at me. It broke the ice better than any opening remark could have.

If you struggle to find things funny, prime yourself. Before a networking event or a high-stress social hour, watch a quick clip of your favorite comedian. Get your brain into a dopamine-rich state. It makes you more reactive and open to connection when you walk into the room.

3. Make Them Feel Good: The Strategy of Validation 🤝

The deepest human craving is the desire to be appreciated. If you can make your colleagues, bosses, and clients feel seen and valued, you will possess a level of influence that authority alone cannot grant you.

This goes beyond the generic "Good job on that report." That’s filler. To truly make someone feel good, you need to master the High-Quality Compliment.

The Anatomy of a Perfect Compliment

A high-quality compliment has three components:

It is Genuine: You actually have to mean it. People can smell a fake flatterer a mile away.

It is Specific: Vague praise is forgettable. Specific praise is sticky.

It Touches on Pride: It targets something the person worked hard on or prides themselves on.

The Generic Approach: "Hey Sarah, great job leading that meeting."

The High-Quality Approach: "Hey Sarah, I wanted to tell you—the way you handled those objections from the finance team was masterful. You didn't get defensive, you validated their concerns, and you pivoted right back to the data. That is a really hard skill to master, and you made it look easy."

See the difference? The second version tells Sarah that you were paying attention. You noticed a specific soft skill (handling objections) that she likely puts effort into.

The Third-Party Compliment

If you want to supercharge this, use the third-party endorsement. This is when you praise someone behind their back, knowing it will get back to them, or you praise them in front of others.

In a team meeting: "I have to point out that Mark stayed late on Friday to fix that bug. If he hadn't done that, we would have missed the launch. He really saved the day."

When you publicly validate someone's contribution, you aren't just making them feel good; you are elevating their status in the tribe. They will chemically associate that feeling of dopamine and status with you.

Bringing It All Together: Your Personal Brand 🌟

Integrating these "3 Fs" isn't about becoming a fake, loud extrovert. It’s about effective communication.

Fascinating: You are respecting your colleagues' time by making your points engaging and clear through storytelling mechanics and active body language.

Funny: You are building psychological safety and relieving stress through shared humor and relatability.

Feel Good: You are building a culture of appreciation and validation through specific, genuine compliments.

As corporate professionals, we often focus so heavily on what we do—our coding, our accounting, our managing—that we forget how we do it matters just as much.

The next time you have a coffee chat or a board presentation, pick one of these tools. Try the Charades Method with your hands. Try a Fake Out joke to lighten the mood. Try giving one High-Quality Compliment to a peer.

You might find that the "soft" skills actually yield the hardest results.